ISOCRA

The Carb Question

Seeking an ultimate answer

For millennia

Humanity has cultivated carbohydrate-rich and starchy foods into the basis of dishes and cuisines.

For years

ISOCRA has been responsible for overseeing the debate which has raged in pubs over which carb is better than the others. Communities have been built, Families divided, battle lines drawn.

Today

It is time to provide a definitive answer by letting The People decide...

The Carb Question

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The Contenders

In alphabetical order
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Bread

Bread has had a long and varied career all over the world and its strength lies in its variety. Functioning variously as a delivery mechanism, a stand-in plate or even as its own course in a restaurant, bread has been enjoyed by humanity since the dawn of agriculture and is, some say, The Face of Carbs.
Big hitters
Pizza. Naan. Sandwiches.
Official Classification

Dough made with a grain, with our without a raising agent, baked or fried.

Caveats

After the infamous events of The Council of Bread-based Cakes, modern interpretations of The Carb Question avoid the potential for violence by only considering savoury usages of bread. It is now part of the Laws of The Question that you must disregard sweet bread-based dishes when making your choice.

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Noodles

After an early career in Han-dynasty China, noodles found a new audience in the west by adopting a Germanic name (Nudle) and have gone from strength to strength. A workhorse of many cuisines across the East and beyond known for its variety and versatility, Noodles are the backbone of countless delicious dishes and, contentiously, even another contender itself.
Big hitters
Ramen. Pho. Chow mein.
Official Classification

Made from any unleavened dough (including those made from Rice) usually boiled. Comes in a long-ish shape or thin tube. Almost always used in cuisine originating in Asia.

Caveats

Confusion abounds about terminology (Americans insist on referring to Spaghetti as Noodles) and The Great Schism - with Pasta forming a breakaway option - only adds to Noodles' image as a nexus for confrontation in The Question. Following the CCP (Common Question Parameters) guidance, Noodles is used to represent primarily east Asian cuisine offerings in ranking decisions, rather than in the etymological sense. Pasta must not be considered when voting for Noodles. See below.

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Pasta

Bursting onto the scene relatively late compared to its august peers (likely starting its career in Etruscan-era Italy), Pasta is a classic flair player with a southern European swagger. Forming the basis of many Italian dishes, Pasta's personality shines through in the hundreds of quirky shapes it takes in contrast to its more austere Noodle proginator.
Big hitters
Spaghetti. Lasagna. Cacio e Pepe.
Official Classification

To classify as Pasta, food should originate from Italy or its surrounds and should almost always be created (traditionally) with durum wheat. Spaghetti is a pasta, not a noodle. See below.

Caveats

Pasta is famously the root cause of much contention in The Community. Today, The Carb Question is almost excusively posed using the Balham Derivation, which completely differentiates Italian-style Pasta from noodles in The Question. Historically of course this was seen by players from both Asia and The Americas as symptomatic of European Hegemony, but since the summit at Balham has been simply been recognised as being part of a fun game where everyone needs to chill the fuck out.

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Potato

The humble Potato stands in stark contrast to its flashier rivals. Since its big money move across the Atlantic in the 16th Century - a transfer which purists at the time suggested it had sold out - Potato has retained its down-to-earth charm while showcasing its skill and versatility in elevating itself. A firm fan favourite with some beloved specialities.
Big hitters
French fries. Patatas Bravas. Crisps.
Official Classification

Potato is traditionally more straightforward and easy to grasp as a choice, even for complete newcomers to The Question. A bottom-up movement of potato fans in 2018 - known as The Findon Spuds - led to a groundswell of public opinion to begin allowing Sweet Potato when considering Potato as a ranking choice.

Caveats

Since Sweet Potato's semi-official inclusion into this contender, more and more literature has been produced lobbying for the expansion of the Potato Contender to include other starchy tuberous vegetables such as Yams and even Turnips. However, such lobbying is strictly unofficial and while governmental bodies tolerate it, only Potato- and Sweet Potato-based dishes must be considered.

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Rice

Rice's versatility, ubiquity and uniqueness make it a very strong contender in The Question. It is simply impossible to overstate rice's fundamental part of cuisines around the world, especially in Asia and Africa. Rice has been dominant as long as bread during the course of humanity, forming a fierce rivalry known, of course, as El Carbico.
Big hitters
Sushi. Pilau. Jollof.
Official Classification

If you need rice explained to you, then The Question may not be a suitable pursuit.

Caveats

Similarly to bread, Rice comes with its own set of controversies and historical issues. Since the era of politically motivated violence around whether or not to include sweet foods in The Carb Question is thankfully behind us, modern versions of the The Question consider only savoury foods - side-stepping the issue of, for example, whether rice pudding should form part of a judgement on Rice's official ranking. Thoughts and Prayers to all who lost their lives during those tumultuous years.

Armed with the sacred knowledge, it is now time to perform the solemn ritual.
It is time for you to answer...

The Question

Rate these carbs from best to worst
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1
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2
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3
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4
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5
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